Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
