just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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