have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize