We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
