I feel great
I just peed on a car
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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