Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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