I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
how drunk are you?
Several
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
