I want to stick my p in your. b.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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