I wish I could teleport
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
