We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
