Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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