Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
