It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the high leading the old right now
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
