I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
