I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone shit on the floor
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I enjoy the company of your penis
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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