Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
