I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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