tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
