I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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