Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
