i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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