"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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