I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
