He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
