with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
