Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
