i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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