I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
