If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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