So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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