I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
