I heard we made out
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
