Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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