On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
