Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
