I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I looked at my own cervix.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
