the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
