3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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