hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The Olympian is in my bed
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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