Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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