Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
