guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
