There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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