if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
