I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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