i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize