Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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