dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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