I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
