Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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