I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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