i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if only i could text you this smell
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
