Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
