I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
