are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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