one might say we're banned from that church
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
