Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
