We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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